Lost and Alone
by jessiejlp1987
Summary: Casey ends up pregnant after one night full of regrets. Emily's in love with Derek and Casey is full of guilt, even if she does feel like it is more Derek's fault than her own. How will she cope with her unwanted state, Derek's indifference, and Emily's hatred?
1. Chapter 1

Casey leaned against her locker with a heavy sigh. It was only nine in the morning and one class down. How was she going to get through the next six hours feeling the way she did? Her stomach was churning despite having emptied her entire breakfast on the way to school. She had decided to walk instead of take the bus. Emily had been a trooper and walked the two miles with her. She needed fresh air and time to think. If she cleared her head, maybe the world would once again make sense.

She pushed off of her locker and turned just in time to run straight into Derek. Her history homework went flying and laughter was heard all around her. She looked up and caught Derek smirking down at her. She wished they were in a subway station so she could 'accidentally' cause him to fall infront of a train.

"Watch it, Klutszilla."

"De-rek!"

Before she could say anything else, he put an arm around his giggling flavor of the week and walked off. The girls boobs were enormous. How can a thin highschool girl have a chest that large without surgery?

"Ass whole," Casey muttered beneath her breath as she picked up her scattered books and papers. Emily bent down next to her to help while keeping a steady eye on Derek.

"What do you think he sees in her?"

"She's a place to put his thing," Casey shuddered. Emily's eyes were completely lost in puppy love and Casey wanted to smack the yearning stare off of her best friends face.

"You think their sleeping together?"

"Ummm, duh. I doubt Derek has every lasted more than two days unless a girls given it to him." Casey rose quickly and soon regreted it. She was dizzy and lightheaded. Leaning against her locker once again, she took a quick breath and waited for the unwanted feeling to pass.

"What's up with you today?" Emily asked concerned. "Maybe you should go to the nurse and lie down for a bit."

"I'm fine," Casey reasured with a hand to her head while forcing a smile. "I never miss school. And besides, I have a test fifth period. I've been studying a week for it...actually looking forward to it. I'm staying here."

"Suit yourself, Casey. Just try not to overdue it and don't get up so fast next time."

"Unless Derek decides to purposefully knock me over again, I'll be fine." She couldn't hide the distain in her voice if she tried. Casey looked over her shoulder, expecting to find him long gone, but he was surrounded by members of the hockey team, looking popular and cocky like always.

She rolled her eyes.

"I don't get it," Emily said.

"What?"

"You two. How do you live under the same roof and not kill eachother? You're unbarable enough at school, let alone home"

"It's not easy," Casey said quietly in response.

"I've been in love with Derek since before I can remember. I would kill for him to notice me...just once. And you move to town, receive all of his attention, and hate him for it."

Casey stopped walking and looked at Emily in disbelief. "Do you honestly think I should be greatful to that bastard for giving me unwanted attention by torturing me for the past seven months! You have to be out of your mind!"

"Casey..."

"I don't get a moments peace without being called ugly, pushed down on purpose, humiliated..."

"Casey..."

"...disrespected, a twisted ankle, interference in _my_ life..."

"Casey!"

Her head snapped to attention, slightly irritated that Emily had interupted her tirade.

"I get that he's mean to you. It's just..."

"Just what?!" Casey asked too harshly.

"If you look at Derek...I mean _really _look at him, he does care what happens to you."

Casey snickered at the rediculous accusation and continued walking at a brisk pace. Unfortunately, she could hear Emily right on her heels. Now would be a good time for her 'best friend' to fall off of the face of the earth. Casey did her best _what the hell_ face at her monstrous thought, glad she hadn't voiced her opinion. What _was _wrong with her? She was turning into a complete bitch as they spoke. No one besides Derek was ever mistreated by Casey. She prided herself on being nice...most of the time.

"I'm not saying he doesn't like it when you're in a little bit of pain. It's obvious that he does."

"I'm glad you've noticed."

"But you're his step-sister and he cares for you in a weird Derek way. Like the time he stopped everyone from being mean to you when you fell on Cory's butt."

Casey slowly stopped and took a calming breath before answering. "He was the one that laughed before everyone else. It was that moment that he began calling me Klutzilla and that was six months ago!"

"I know, I know. All that I'm saying is, when things go too far, he's there to stop them because he does care in some twisted way. And maybe if you think about that when he does act like a jerk to you...it will be a little easier for you to take. Your mom married George seven months ago, Casey. You have about, oh I don't know,...eighty more years together."

"Except for holidays, I have no plans to see that jerk once I go to college. Now if I can just get through the next two and half years, all's well and ends well."

The two minute warning bell rang.

"I'll see you later, Em."

"Bye, Casey," her friend said with a voice that was on the verge of sadness. Her eyes were downcast as she made her way to Biology while Casey ran up the steps to History class. She sat down in a seat and waited for Mr. Henderson to start his lecture on the Civil War. But Emily's love for Derek was the only thing running through her mind.

Casey felt like the worst person and friend anyone could have. She knew that Emily was waiting patiently for Derek to come around and finally realize what he was missing. But Derek wasn't near ready to stop playing the field and fall for any Davis girl just yet. Casey wasn't sure he ever would be. It was as if he walked straight through her every time he passed by. Emily was waiting for the perfect moment that would never arise.

And then Casey had made the worst decision imaginable. Not just because Derek treated her like trash, that he was her step-brother, that she was only fifteen, or that it was morally wrong. But because Emily loved Derek. That plagued her more than anything.

Mr. Henderson moved to the front of the class and leaned against his desk, crossed his feet, and began talking in the smooth way of his. Every girl in the class audibly sighed at the good looking twenty-six year old teacher, except for Casey.

A tear fell down her cheek as she she looked down, quickly wiping it away. She placed a hand on her stomach, expecting to feel something, but she realized that it was completely flat and unmoving.

Of course she wouldn't feel anything yet.

But her slim figure did little to comfort her. She hadn't had a period in seven weeks. It had been six weeks since Derek had held her down, and she did nothing to stop him.

Casey buried her face within her hands, embarrassed at the continuing tears. She told herself that it was rape. She had asked him to stop. But deep down, she knew that it wasn't. She didn't fight him off like he was attacking her. After a few small shoves, Casey let him...

It was all George and her mom's fault for grounding Derek in the first place. He was suppose to go out on a date that night, but was caught sneaking out one too many times. George had rigged Derek's windows to keep them from opening, and he couldn't get out. Not unless he wanted to get caught by going out another way.

And then she went into his room to gloat. He was suppose to go out with Amanda Beck, a beautiful cheerleader with a horrible reputation. And when Casey went into his room, he was sitting at the computer with only his boxers on, clearing irritated that she entered without knocking.

And after bickering for several minutes, he had told her she was better than nothing and kissed her. Except for Sam, she had never been kissed. But thoughs few short months did not prepare her for this. Derek pushed her onto his bed and quickly discarded the shorts she had put on for the night. He never even bothered completely undressing her. It was the best and worst night of her life.

Less than a half hour later, he simply rolled over and said "_Get lost, Princess."_

She hated Derek Venturi with everything she had. Emily was insane if she thought he cared one ounce for her.

Casey gazed out the second story window and prayed that something else was wrong. That is wasn't what she thought it was. But she knew...call it a women't intuition if you will.

She was lost and alone.

Casey was carrying Derek Venturi's monster inside of her teenage body, and there was no one to cry out to for help.


	2. Chapter 2

Derek opened the Saturday Morning Tribune to the sports page, hoping for a good hockey story. He was in luck. He dug into an article about the Vancouver Canucks while propping his feet up on the high counter and taking a sip of his scolding hot black coffee. This was the earliest he had been up on a Saturday in...well...forever. It was just past seven and a golden glow brightened the kitchen just enough for him to read.

There were only two people awake and that was Casey and himself. If he had a choice, he would still be in bed, sleeping the weekend away. But unfortunately, that was not to the be the case. He promised his friends last night that they could go to Camden Pier, an amusement park two hours away. Sam had just received his drivers licence last month and everyone wanted to take a road trip for the whole weekend, hotel included. Regrettably, that included Casey as well. Sam still had a thing for his step-sister and Derek figured his best friend was hoping to rekindle the destructive relationship once again. He hoped not. That had been one of the worst months of his life. The fighting, crying, break-ups, crying, getting back together, and crying was too much for him to take.

Casey looked just as thrilled about the trip as he did, but perked up a bit when Emily had jumped at the chance to come along. Of course she did. Derek knew that Emily would chop off her right hand if he just said hello to her. It was sad...in a pathetic sort of way.

Derek peeked over his newspaper and caught Casey hovering above a skillet full of chocolate chips pancakes, her eyes permeated to the spot. It was clear her thoughts were elsewhere. Was she thinking about Sam? A stupid paper due next month? Or was it just her usual neurotic self? Something definitely had to be wrong. This was the second time ever she had willingly cooked breakfast for Derek.

Casey sat the plate of pancakes infront of him before pouring herself a bowl of sawdust with soymilk. The chick was healthy but disgusting. He took a heaping mouthful and didn't bother to cover the groan that escaped him.

"You may have a billion faults, Spacey, but you're one hell of a cook."

Casey looked taken aback by the compliment. Granted, it was the first one he had ever given her so of course she would be shocked.

"Thanks," she murmured.

"Mmhmm," Derek muttered as he took another bite. A horn sounded from outside and Derek looked down at his watch. Sam said 7:30 and it was only ten past the hour.

"I guess we better get going."

"Let him wait. He's the one that's early."

"De-rek! The world doesn't revolve around you. If everyone else is ready to go than you need to start adjusting to other people schedules."

"Ehhh. You know how I hate schedules and you know how I hate people. Why would I cater to someone when, in fact," he put on a smirk. "The world does revolve around me."

"Just grab your bag and lets go. Casey wheeled her pink luggage out the door, leaving Derek to stare after her. Her chestnut pony tail swung slightly as her hips swayed with each step. She was dressed in a fitted black sleeveless top with matching shorts that clung to her fit body. Derek ran a hand through his messy hair as he watched her go.

Thoughts of the night that he would rather forget popped into his head on a regular basis and it was beginning to drive him insane. It was just Casey. The same Casey he hated. But no matter how much she got under his skin, she never deserved what he had done to her. Every time he tried to apologize, another insult fell out of his mouth and he was unable to control it. Granted, he was 99 percent sure he hadn't forced himself on her, but he knew that he was entirely to blame. And then he had treated her like any other girl after he was finished. He told her to get out and the look of hurt in her eyes had been haunting him ever since.

Derek shook his head and left his dirty dish for Nora to clean up. He headed outside; sunglasses on and a duffle bad thrown over his shoulder. Despite Casey's pretty ass climbing into the back seat, he caught an infatuated glimpse from Emily. Sam and Ralph were in the front seat. There was no way he was sitting beside Casey or Emily. He walked up to the passanger seat and leaned in through the window.

"Back. Now."

"Come on, man. It's our first road trip and I already called shot gun."

"Too bad," Derek said while opening the door. "Now out."

With a few choice words uttered beneath his breath, Ralph reluctantly climbed into the backseat, pushing Casey to the middle.

Once everone was settled in, they took off West towards Camden Pier, silence filling the car.


End file.
